Holy July! Thank God for my Country and my lifestyle.

It is 1:04 in the AM on July 5th. Wooh,what a weekend.

I absolutely love the 4th of July and all of the fun it has in store for me and my family. Ohhh especially when it's the big Buckley Family Redneck Water Skiing Party. (that is the new title I suppose. I believe dubbed so after Mike water skied). This year we kicked it off with the first ever fishing derby. It was a lot of fun! I didn't land a fish all night and I only got one bite, but I was the first person to grab the pole when Austin hooked the WINNING fish! (8lbs some oz.)

Caleb had a blast he caught a Bass just under 3lbs and the biggest sucker but I have no idea how big it was.
The only fish Chase landed, 2lb 1oz sucker.
I can't go to bed. There are still so many fireworks going off.
My mind is going crazy thinking about all of the fun that was had this weekend and all of the fun still to be had before everyone goes home or back to work.

Learning is frustrating!

"I hate school." Caleb says every morning. He only says it once and he doesn't really put up a fight about getting ready, he just makes sure to tell me he hates it.
I worry about him but not so much because of him. I worry about me. Can I be happy with less than perfect assignments? Can I put a smile on my face and tell him something is wonderful when he has colored so far out of the lines I'm not even sure what the picture is? Can I be calm and cool when, after many times of review, we still don't know how to identify the letter I? I'm trying.
I never pushed working with him on learning because he would get so frustrated. Or maybe it was me. I didn't want to make it a negative experience. As soon as the energy started to flow the wrong way I would drop it and let him go back to playing. He's a goof ball, has a hard time sitting still or being serious and I have a hard time not getting complete attention. I know that it may be a while before the tests and evaluations the school sends home really shows how smart he is, But I know some day they will. He has a better understanding for language and what's going on around him than many adults do.
I am so proud of his penmanship, it by far surpasses anything I was able to do even by the 3rd grade. He has some little quirks with it though and they are so cute, I know I will miss them when they are gone. The tails on his little a's are much longer than they should be because he has such a heavy hand.
Well, I know that it is time for me to buckle down and make the learning process a little more uncomfortable for him, but I hope to be able to make it enjoyable. I pray that I can have patience with him, that I can help him learn to sit still and be serious if only for a little while, or next year may be very difficult for his little body. Oh I hope he'll be able to handle full days.

One year!!

It has been one year since I quit smoking!!!! I feel like I don't get to count all the time because I have been pregnant for a large portion. But I am still quit and since I will NEVER start again I can count because this is the first year for the rest of my years. Now you all heard me say it and I expect you to hold me responsible:)

Thanks to my children

Today as i continued to fold laundry and not put it away I began to think about how much I have always dredded putting away the laundry. I had piles of clothes on top of my dresser instead of in as a teenager. For a moment in my life I was excellent at promptly putting the clothes where they belonged. And if I remember correctly I felt much better about it and was able to accomplish much more around the house. The reason I was promptly putting the clothes away was because for a moment in time I had a small child who loved to unfold the laundry, and he was good at it. I was thinking about how this small child taught me to do it right and that doing it right really feels better and helps you to keep going. And like the Derius Rucker country song says, "It won't be like this for long", my child moved his interest from the neatly folded piles of laundry and I stopped putting them away quickly. (shame on me)
Thinking about this and how a change was nearly manifested in my personality I started to think about the things that my children have taught me. Things that I have held on to. The biggest one, I believe, being mornings! Sure I'm not a hop out of bed 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' kind of person, but I am a LOOOONG way from the coiled, venomous snake lashing out at anything that moved within striking distance. Prepared to pierce their delicate skin with my fangs and stop their heart with my venom for no reason whatsoever. No really, I'm not exagerating. It is so nice to not have to warn people to 'keep their distance and don't talk to me for atleast 10 minutes and then test the water slowly for another 10'. I can remember so clearly my sweet baby Caleb waking up at the crack of dawn with a big grin on his little face just cooing and ahhing every morning. I was so tired and exhausted, but to just look into his innocent eyes and to feel his love for me I knew that I couldn't wake up angry anymore. This infant child who had only been here on earth for such a short time was so much better at this thing called mornings than I was. He still wakes up early (not as early his curtains are now very dark) with a smile on his face and greets me with a song in his voice 'good morning my momma' every day.
ANGER!! ANGER!! ANGER!! Now not just in the mornings but all day long. I wish I could go back and learn this one faster, I still worry if I have ever scarred Caleb with my outburst of anger when he was very young. I have learned that you don't have to be angry to express how something makes you feel. In fact if I keep my cool, I don't talk so fast that nobody can keep up, so really I do much better. It really came to my attention one day when Caleb told a stranger in Walmart that his dad had a golfing problem, his brother had a pooping problem and his mom had a yelling problem. About five minutes after this conversation we witnesses a small child ask his mother for a lunchable, the mother lashed out at the child for being ungrateful and always wanting wanting wanting. There were a few choice words sprinkled in there and I was embarrased for this small child and then Caleb called out "it's ok my mom has a yelling problem too". I can't say that "ve never yelled at my children since then, but I have definately made it a point to try speaking first and keeping my calm. Sometimes I even warn my children, "this is the last time I'm going to be able to tell you this nicely because I'm about to use my mean, angry voice." Which absolutley terrifies Chase because he never got as accustomed to it as Caleb did.
I know that there is many more things that my boys have taught me and I know that I have much more to learn. I really hope that as life happend and lessons are taught, that I will be open to them, to use them to make my life a better one. So now I must get off the computer and put away my laundry.

Chocolate on popcorn

Anyone that knows my family knows that Chase was very silent for a LOOONG time. We did speech therapy until he recently was reevaluated and tested out. Yipee! We miss it so much, but it is nice to know that he really didn't have a problem just wasn't ready to talk. Well, there is one problem, the TR sound is the F sound and he loves to point out big trucks. Only it sounds much scarier.
The other night I was feeling a bit naughty so I decided to add a little chocolate syrup to my popcorn. Chase gave me this look that I so need to get on film. It's the 'what the truck' look. He then said "Chocate(ch pronounced sh) on popcorn? Mom are you sick?"
I answered him "No I'm not sick, why?"
"Chocate on popcorn? You sick, yeah you sick".
"I'm not sick" I tell him.
"Uh huh, me think you sick."
This was the first time that I can think of that Chase has teased or expressed his opinion with words. (well more than 'NO' or 'Mine') It took him a second to get it right, but he did. I heard about it all night too. So my Chase, the child that spits out all candy that is not chocolate, chocolate filled, or chocolate coated and says, "Not chocate." , had absolutely no interest whatsoever in chocolate covered popcorn. (no really not covered just drizzled) I know that some day he will, he is my son and sweet and salty combined is the best!!!

so far not good!!

Well, I would have to give myself an F for effort. Teehee. I sat up this account in hopes that I would be able to blog the great happenings of the Peterman family and have sat down to it only three times since my first post. This time and the two others I couldn't come up with anything to say. I really don't have much time to blog so this will be short. This has been a very emotional Tuesday for me and I am going to use this blog to try and sort out why so stay with me if you can handle the rambling or check out someone elses now. . .
So first on my list is my bathroom!!! Um let's see torn apart for just about 7 weeks now. At the last stages of putting it together and there are minor details that are makeing me crazy. For one I can't trim the door cause the vanity is too close to it and the bottom drawer(which was my favorite feature)does not allow for a trim if you want to open it. The second issue, my mirror is too big. I know measure things, but I didn't think about it and I fell in love with the mirror. The sad part is I on;y need to be able to move the light box up about 4 inches to hang the mirror where I desire it. I can hang it without moving but I would be much happier if it were moved and that's were Jer and I disagree. He would be happier to leave it.
Not sure what's second on my list I would like to say the political nonsense that has my stomach feeling sick everytime I turn my thoughts in that direction but I think I'm going to go with it's been 9 days since my last cigarette!! Yeah for me! This should be a good thing and I am sure come the end of the day I will be ecstatic that I have made it through yet another day. But at this moment in time the psychological release of stress that comes with that stupid habit would be nice. But only for the moment not for the eternity of my being. Which brings me to yet another thing bringing me down today.
Why is it so hard to give up the things you know you never should have gotten into. The things you picked up just because you could. I am currently working on one very obvious one that is easier for people to see or smell and am fearing the next sin. The drink!! It's so social and I am around many social drinkers including my husband often. I'm no alcoholic don't get me wrong, and I rarely drink to get drunk although it's caught me many times. I mostly fear that I will become a lame-o, a party pooper, someone my associates don't want to associate with. SO what's a person to do? Make new friends at a new place, like church. Oh wow, and give up lazy Sunday?!! I have so much work to do on my soul!! And my house!
SO another thing bringing me down is the filth that manages to comtinue accumulating in my house despite my best attempts to clean it. Who am I kidding I've been so listless lately it takes me forty minutes to turn on and only five to turn back off. So it's exhausting trying to coax yourself to do something you'd much rather not. Not to mention I seem to continually have extra children I suppose it's cause I stay at home with mine and have nothing better to do. Did you hear the sarcasm in that cause I was so typing with it turned up loud!! Ok so now you've heard me complain be thankful I didn't have much time to sit here. Maybe I'll continue another day or maybe I'll be happier and report on my family. Hope you all have a terrifying Halloween!