Thanks to my children

Today as i continued to fold laundry and not put it away I began to think about how much I have always dredded putting away the laundry. I had piles of clothes on top of my dresser instead of in as a teenager. For a moment in my life I was excellent at promptly putting the clothes where they belonged. And if I remember correctly I felt much better about it and was able to accomplish much more around the house. The reason I was promptly putting the clothes away was because for a moment in time I had a small child who loved to unfold the laundry, and he was good at it. I was thinking about how this small child taught me to do it right and that doing it right really feels better and helps you to keep going. And like the Derius Rucker country song says, "It won't be like this for long", my child moved his interest from the neatly folded piles of laundry and I stopped putting them away quickly. (shame on me)
Thinking about this and how a change was nearly manifested in my personality I started to think about the things that my children have taught me. Things that I have held on to. The biggest one, I believe, being mornings! Sure I'm not a hop out of bed 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' kind of person, but I am a LOOOONG way from the coiled, venomous snake lashing out at anything that moved within striking distance. Prepared to pierce their delicate skin with my fangs and stop their heart with my venom for no reason whatsoever. No really, I'm not exagerating. It is so nice to not have to warn people to 'keep their distance and don't talk to me for atleast 10 minutes and then test the water slowly for another 10'. I can remember so clearly my sweet baby Caleb waking up at the crack of dawn with a big grin on his little face just cooing and ahhing every morning. I was so tired and exhausted, but to just look into his innocent eyes and to feel his love for me I knew that I couldn't wake up angry anymore. This infant child who had only been here on earth for such a short time was so much better at this thing called mornings than I was. He still wakes up early (not as early his curtains are now very dark) with a smile on his face and greets me with a song in his voice 'good morning my momma' every day.
ANGER!! ANGER!! ANGER!! Now not just in the mornings but all day long. I wish I could go back and learn this one faster, I still worry if I have ever scarred Caleb with my outburst of anger when he was very young. I have learned that you don't have to be angry to express how something makes you feel. In fact if I keep my cool, I don't talk so fast that nobody can keep up, so really I do much better. It really came to my attention one day when Caleb told a stranger in Walmart that his dad had a golfing problem, his brother had a pooping problem and his mom had a yelling problem. About five minutes after this conversation we witnesses a small child ask his mother for a lunchable, the mother lashed out at the child for being ungrateful and always wanting wanting wanting. There were a few choice words sprinkled in there and I was embarrased for this small child and then Caleb called out "it's ok my mom has a yelling problem too". I can't say that "ve never yelled at my children since then, but I have definately made it a point to try speaking first and keeping my calm. Sometimes I even warn my children, "this is the last time I'm going to be able to tell you this nicely because I'm about to use my mean, angry voice." Which absolutley terrifies Chase because he never got as accustomed to it as Caleb did.
I know that there is many more things that my boys have taught me and I know that I have much more to learn. I really hope that as life happend and lessons are taught, that I will be open to them, to use them to make my life a better one. So now I must get off the computer and put away my laundry.